A dark and absurd farce by
Voice 1 (as ONE)
Voice 2 (as TWO)
The scene is completely dark. The audience cannot seen anything on the stage, but can only hear clearly the two voices speaking. There are actions and sounds, because they are unnecessary and secondary compared to the dialogue. The scene can be performed both on a stage than in any other space, because anyway the audience will not see.
ONE Are you dead?
TWO Yes. (Pause)
ONE And why do you speak?
ONE You shouldn’t.
TWO And who are you to say that?
ONE One who is alive.
TWO And so?
ONE So I can speak.
TWO I can speak too.
ONE But you shouldn’t.
TWO But I do.
ONE Then, you are not dead. You are alive.
TWO I am dead. I have told you. Don’t you trust me?
ONE How can I? If you can talk and speak, you should be alive.
TWO I am dead. I know it for sure. I killed myself. (Pause) Don’t you trust my word?
ONE A word of a dead is difficult to trust.
TWO You should. I killed myself because I was too sincere in my life.
ONE Difficult to believe.
ONE If you are lying in a so peculiar way, pretending you are dead.
TWO But, I am. (Pause) I can swear on…
ONE …your life.
TWO No, I cannot.
ONE Seen? I cannot trust you.
TWO I don’t understand why you think that only because I am clearly dead you cannot trust me.
ONE Because dead people do not talk nor speak.
TWO Are you sure of that?
ONE One hundred percent.
TWO Can I ask you something?
ONE (cinical) Yes, alive-man-who-pretends-to-be-dead.
TWO Do you know other dead people?
TWO (direct) Real dead?
ONE (Pause, uncertain of the answer) Well… not really dead… I mean… I use to know them when they were alive… (cinical) when they were able to speak and we talk together… the they died and… that’s it… Stop… ending…
TWO So, you knew them when they were alive… You do not know dead people after they died. I am right then.
ONE (upset) Are you right in what?... Are you telling me that dead people can also reason and be right?
TWO So do you agree that I speak?
ONE Yes, because I can hear you and I reply to you. But I don’t think you are dead. You cannot!
ONE (upset) Again! (Pause) Dead people do not speak. (Pause) They shouldn’t. (Pause) They absolutely cannot.
TWO How do you know it?
ONE I know!
TWO But how? (Pause) Let’s think in a logical way. Let’s use the brain.
ONE Your dead brain…
TWO …and yours alive. (Pause) You have admitted you used to know only alive people. Is it true?
TWO So, if you have never met dead people, how can you say that they do not speak? Have you ever stopped a dead person in the street, asking him… I don’t know… simply “How are u?”
ONE Dead people do not walk in the street.
TWO And how they can run their business.
ONE Dead people have not business.
TWO Only because we do not breath, eat or drink, it doesn’t mean we do not have something to do.
ONE You do not breath…
TWO I am dead. It is my prerogative, not to breath.
ONE And you do not eat.
TWO Are you silly?... You say that “I starve to death”, not “after death”. I am not hungry, so I do not eat.
ONE But you speak.
TWO Of course. I told you. We have our thing to do, we have our death…
TWO …death. You have life. I have my death. (Pause) Anyway, you don’t know dead people. It means that you have no experience, no evidence, no data about the talkative quality of dead people. Alive people are so blind about truths most of the times.
ONE (sarcastic) Usually dead people do not speak.
TWO Oh! Finally! Usually! Exact! (Pause) Sometimes they speak, sometimes they don’t.
ONE And who decides if they can or not?
TWO They decide by their own.
ONE So they also have will (Pause) After death…
TWO Of course, they have. (Pause) I have decided to killed myself and died. Don’t you thing I can decide a simple thing like speaking with you?
ONE I am confused.
TWO You shouldn’t. (Pause) This is just a normal conversation. (Pause) Now we are almost friends. Next time, you will meet another dead, like me, and he will ask you “Do you know other dead people?”, you can surely say “Yes”.
ONE (uncertain) I… I…I apologize. But I still do not trust you. It is hard to believe in your words.
TWO Come on. It is so clear I am dead and I speak.
ONE I will never believe you are dead.
TWO (resolute) Ok, I have the solution. Do you want to try?
ONE Try what?
TWO To die and be dead.
ONE And if I don’t succeed?
TWO You will continue to stay alive.
ONE And if I succeed.
TWO You will die.
TWO Well yes, but we can continue talking. (Pause) Take the gun.
ONE Which gun?
TWO My gun. (Pause) How do you think I have killed myself?
Two gives its gun to One. Audience cannot see it, but can imagine according to the sounds.
TWO Are you dead?
TWO And so?
ONE You were right. I can speak...
TWO …and see.
Light on the scene. Finally the audience can see the two character.